Our Time in the Sun

Life is short, but it's also wide.

Now, in the midst of a career change, I've had no choice but to tackle the next question without flinching: How should I choose to live my life? Should my aim be on altruism? Should I focus on prestige? How about adventure? Or acquiring knowledge? What about making a lot of money? What about purchasing a house? Should I just unfurl my sails and let the winds take me as they please? Or should I postpone simple pleasures and lay foundations for a family instead? There doesn't seem to be a definite answer, but one thing sure is clear: school didn't prepare me for this shit.

In the confusion, I look to others around me - how did they decide? Computer programmers, logistics coordinators, bartenders, account executives, theater actors, public accountants, investment bankers, medical malpractice lawyers, audio visual technicians, automobile mechanics, mobile phone salesmen, etc. They chose, but did they place these career decisions against the greater backdrop of life itself when choosing? Or did they (and I) base their decisions on much less profound considerations? I think so.

We choose as if we will live forever.

Here is the meat of my point: If this life is our only shot at existence; if after death there is nothing; if there will never be anything again for you and for me; if this is our only time in the sun, then, shouldn't we give a little more thought to the question of how we should spend our lives? Imagine a hypothetical situation: You die and you are told that you have 24 hours to reflect on your life (albeit in perhaps a gaseous, ethereal form). You are also told that once the 24 hours are up, you're done: your consciousness is erased. Forever. So while you're there floating and torturing yourself for the next 24 hours, would you think of better ways you could have spent your life? Would regret rear its ugly head? Of course it would. For example: "Damn, I knew I should have said 'yes' to that threesome at 22." We'd be a pretty pissed off bunch of gasses for our last 24 hours. Well, gather 'round, my dear fleeting gasses, and contemplate the following 2 cheery excerpts on the topic:

You live as if you were destined to live forever, no thought of your frailty ever enters your head, of how much time has already gone by you take no heed. You squander time as if you drew from a full and abundant supply, though all the while that day which you bestow on some person or thing is perhaps your last. You have all the fears of mortals and all the desires of immortals. You will hear many men saying: "After my fiftieth year I shall retire into leisure, my sixtieth year shall release me from public duties." And what guarantee, pray, have you that your life will last as long?

But when at last some infirmity has reminded [old men] of their mortality, in what terror do they die, feeling that they are being dragged out of life, and not merely leaving it. They cry out that they have been fools, because they have not really lived, and that they will live henceforth in leisure if only they escape from this illness; then at last they reflect how uselessly they have striven for things which they did not enjoy, and how all their toil has gone for nothing.

- Seneca, On the Shortness of Life

If we were absolutely certain that there was no afterlife and that what awaits us after death is the same as what we experienced before life (i.e. nothing) would we lead our lives differently today? Would we choose our careers differently? Or would we just say "fuck it," avoid futile contemplation of this behemothic issue, sidestep it altogether, and become discount mattress salesmen? At least we'd have "employee of the month" awards to look forward to.

My refusal to avoid sidestepping this question has led me to the intriguing field of positive psychology: the scientific study of happiness, human flourishing, and the search for meaning. This is what I've been spending a considerable amount of time researching these days. After all, can you think of a more significant matter of concern than the maximization of happiness, or better yet, the study of how to best appreciate our brief time in the spotlight of existence? The premise of this new branch of psychology is that certain "things" (i.e. emotions, activities, pursuits, ideas, institutions) provide us with more lasting happiness than other "things." So essentially, we can scientifically prove where, or from what, we procure the most lasting happiness. We can scientifically suggest what is most worth pursuing in this life. Perhaps positive psychology can then provide a few solid answers to this post's opening question. I'm looking, I'm looking...

There is no right or wrong here. I'm just as ignorant as we all are on this issue. This is just something I believe is worth contemplating for you and for me. And if you're a discount mattress salesman, drop me a line with your contact info - I'm in the market. Good luck.