The Resistance

"A psychology degree is worthless."

The resistance struck swiftly and tactlessly from those closest to me. Like Clark Kent ripping his clothes off in a phone booth, everyone around me suddenly unveiled a hidden expertise on living the good life. I must not have been blessed with that superpower, apparently.

Resistance is often tricky to identify because it arrives under the cute and delicate guise of loving concern and caring advice. To be fair however, we are all guilty of this subtle form of manipulation, especially when dealing with loved ones. Our desire for others to seek our guidance, and in effect, supply us with a sense of relevance is, well, human nature. We offer seemingly unbiased advice... laced with colorful but toxic sprinkles of self-interest without knowing it.

Fine, I'm not mad, but fuck, it's annoying, and potentially destructive.

Selfless advice, and I mean truly selfless advice - the type that few of us receive and even fewer have given - is priceless. There is a profound psychological explanation for the human tendency to dish out tainted self-serving advice. I would like to expound this in a future post.

 In any case, here are some examples of the "caring advice" so humbly bestowed upon me:

• It's just a phase, it will pass
• You're just confused / immature / stupid
• But you're too old to change careers!
• You will be too old after you get your PhD!
• Following a passion is the stuff of movies and books!
• [Such and such] is filling your head with stupid ideas!
• But you won't make any money! (or the alternative) But you'll starve!
• But your future family won't have any money! (or the alternative) But your children will starve!

Well, the consensus seems to be that someone in my future is gonna starve. I guess I'll start stocking up on canned beans now while they're on sale and while the starvation-proof coffers granted by my previous investment job are still plentiful enough to purchase canned beans.

There is one thing however that the above criticisms have in common. They all were uttered by individuals that had never studied psychology nor received a PhD. But then, how could they offer advice without truly understanding the consequences of my decisions? Hmmm, human nature strikes again it seems.

Bottom line: If a person hasn't experienced whatever it is you're doing or about to do, their opinion should carry little to no weight on your decision. Oh, and be very careful with advice from loved ones, they may be harming you without meaning to. They still love you though, and so should you.