Bad is Stronger than Good (research series)

It takes many good deeds to build a good reputation, and only one bad one to lose it. - Benjamin Franklin

If I were to say "God, why me?" about the bad things, then I should have said "God, why me?" about the good things. - Arthur Ashe

Bad things are more attractive, have a greater impact, and are longer lasting on our memory than good things. Bad emotions are stronger than good emotions. The same goes for bad parents vs. good parents, critiques vs. compliments, failures vs. achievements, etc. We are more motivated to avoid bad self-definitions than to pursue good ones. Our brains process bad information much more thoroughly than good information. Hardly any exceptions can be found (where good is stronger than bad).

Think about it. Why is it that no matter how many great things we have accomplished in life, one negative outcome can make us feel worthless? Why is it that no matter how excellent a romantic relationship we've nurtured, it takes but one regrettable comment to spark a destructive downward spiral? One horrible traumatic experience (rape, abuse, violence, etc.) can mutate our behaviors and perspectives for life. Can you think of a positive equivalent of trauma? Barbara Frederickson, a respected psychology professor at the University of North Carolina, determined that it takes approximately 3 positive experiences to offset 1 negative experience - and that ratio may only be valid for mild negative experiences...

Two questions: 

• why is bad stronger than good? 
• what does this mean to us?

Why?

Evolution offers a satisfying answer: paying more attention to negative things helped our ancestors avoid death. Being extra cautious thousands of years ago helped them avoid death and, therefore, have more sex - greatly benefiting the future proliferation of their genes. Taking a leisurely stroll through the heart of the jungle to enjoy the sounds of nature, the aroma of wild flowers, and the fluttering of butterflies did little to prolong any mammal's survival - in fact, such a foolish decision could swiftly wipe that mammal's DNA from the gene pool if unlucky enough to encounter a sharply-toothed or clawed predator. The myriad of different species we see in the world today, including our own, are here because their ancestors did not stop to "listen to the music" or to "smell the flowers" - they are here because their ancestors avoided death time and time again by developing caution. Fear promotes cautious behavior. Safety is and has always been the top priority of all species and our brains have evolved accordingly.

Fear and certainty is good. Courage and uncertainty is bad. If listening to the music and smelling the flowers is useless... then where is happiness placed in this context?

So what?

We lean towards negativity and pessimism by our very nature. We see threats to our survival everywhere. Our brains are continuously on the lookout for these threats and, if one is found (and it always is), the brain activates the alarm of the central nervous system. Stress hormones are released, muscles tense up, the heart pumps faster, breaths are shorter, etc. We are in fight-or-flight mode. Unfortunately for us, imaginary threats to our survival have the same effect on us. In our everyday lives, I'd say that 99% of threats are imaginary, and these sustain us in a perpetual state of neurotic self-activation. They don't even have to be big threats...

As a teenager, I'd break out a lot. I would get one or two really big blemishes, on my forehead, or my cheeks or chin, and they'd last forever. I felt like they became the focus of my face. I felt like no matter how much makeup I put on, that's all people looked at: my huge, red, sore pimples. It was really devastating. - Jennifer Berry, Proactiv Celebrity Spotlight

So what? Well, how can something as insignificant as a pimple feel like a devastating life experience? Maybe a teenager is told that pimples make you look ugly. Maybe if you're ugly, the opposite sex will never want to talk to you. Maybe you'll never procreate. Maybe your genes will die off. Our brains make unconscious associations and sound the alarm. Panic. Commercial products like Proactiv provide salvation to these imagined threats that our brains are unable to distinguish from real threats. All we know is that we are being threatened and must either flee or eradicate the source of threat. Proactiv then becomes "awesome".

Expand this phenomenon to every other aspect of life and you have the negativity bias – an extremely powerful evolutionary adaptation that compels us to gravitate towards and give undue attention and priority to negative shit. Now you know why Fox News has the most viewers.

Our brains hold the key to our emotions and moods. Happiness is not easy to reach if we are prone to the negative. Don't make it worse by criticizing, scolding, pressuring, and ruminating about negative things. Your unconscious brain already does that ridiculously well. With the little conscious ability we do have, be kind to yourself. It may be the only path to lasting happiness.

Citations:

• Baumeister, R.F., Bratslavsky, E., Finkenauer, C., & Vohs, K.D. (2001). Bad is stronger than good. Review of General Psychology, 5, 323-370.
• Fredrickson, Barbara L.; Losada, Marcial F.(2005). Positive Affect and the Complex Dynamics of Human Flourishing. American Psychologist, Vol 60(7), Oct 2005, 678-686.