The Inferiority Radar

Girl at the Mirror, courtesy of Ken Worley

Better is the enemy of good

Voltaire

We all strive to be better. We are continuously encouraged to improve, and sometimes even pressured to do so against our will. We've embraced the idea of lifelong enhancement as an unquestionable aspect of what it means to be human. And why shouldn't we? It seems noble enough, and largely preferable to the alternative, for a person that quits this struggle for betterment is peppered with negative adjectives such as lazy, unambitious, useless, good for nothing, etc. If we read between the lines however, we encounter a surprising paradox.

Wisdom of the Wrinkled

If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years, 

how man would marvel and stare.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've always been fascinated by the sometimes "strange" life advice that older people give. It hasn't been until this semester - studying psychology as a second career - that I've learned why that is. A profound change occurs in how we perceive the world as we grow older (60 years and up), and I think most of us intuitively know this in some way or another, whether or not we've studied psychology. So what changes exactly? Simply put, we turn our attention to things that REALLY matter in life. Why do we do this? Because at some point a certain fact of life hits us full force -- our time is limited.

Evolved to Chill

If you desire many things, many things will seem few.

- Benjamin Franklin

Train for a marathon and your endurance increases. Go on a diet and your body learns to consume fewer calories. Ride a bicycle everyday and your legs become stronger. The human body adapts to the environments we subject it to... and so does the mind. It's easy to pay attention to the environment we subject our bodies to because we can visibly see the effects -- i.e. sitting in a cubicle every day and gaining weight; doing yardwork for 3 weeks and your back begins to hurt; working out everyday and witnessing your muscles grow or waistline diminish. On the other hand, it's much harder to observe the effects of the environment on the mind. I would suggest that these effects, although less apparent, are even more critical to our wellbeing. It is then important to consider which types of environments lead to greater well-being. In other words, what environments should we subject our minds to if we want to be happy? The answer may be surprising.

If Time Stood Still

There is a place where time stands still.

Raindrops hang motionless in air. Pendulums

of clocks float mid-swing. Dogs raise

their muzzles in silent howls. Pedestrians

are frozen on the dusty streets, their legs

cocked as if held by strings. The aromas of

dates, mangoes, coriander, cumin are suspended

in space.

As a traveler approaches this place from

any direction, he moves more and more

Taming the Emotions

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers 

within yourself that you have built against it   

-Rumi

They say happiness comes from within. They say it's created there - within. They say it's self-triggered. If we haven't figured out how to trigger the creation of happiness from within, it's only because we don't know where to look. We don't know how to look. They say it's the same for all human emotions, positive and negative. They are all triggered and created within.

Beneath Your Feet

HAD I the heavens' embroidered cloths,

Enwrought with the golden and silver light,

The blue and the dim and the dark cloths

Of night and light and half-light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;

I have spread my dreams beneath your feet;

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams...

-William Butler Yeats

One year ago today I was preparing to send admissions essays and recommendation letters to various MBA programs. It never happened. I dropped it all and changed course to embark on a different path. It was not easy, especially when facing so much resistance from people around me -- even from those closest to me. We all have an opinion on how others should conduct their lives. But learning to yield and embrace the dreams of others may be the better way. In fact, I'll put it a bit more honestly: it is the better way.

The Way of Grace

The nuns taught us there were two ways through life - the way of nature 

and the way of grace. You have to choose which one you'll follow.

I've never written a movie critique before, but after watching the Tree of Life for a third time, I'm feeling particularly inspired. Sure there are many movies that some people like and some people don't (i.e. Saw VI), but never before have I experienced such a radical degree of polarization over a film. After arriving home from the second viewing, a neighbor staunchly commented that it was the worst movie she had ever seen. How's that for a movie review? Other people I know have snored their way through it and even left the movie theater in extreme consternation - partly because the theater staff wouldn't provide a refund. On the other hand, there is a certain type of people that has been moved to tears and profoundly affected by the emotional and existential significance of the subject matter. But how can this extreme contrast exist? How is it possible that we lie on such opposite ends of the spectrum of internal experience? I use the term experience because even if one doesn't understand the film the first time through, one is still capable of feeling its effect.

In other words, you don't have to fully understand it to be significantly moved. But how are we being moved exactly? What aspect of us is being moved? Could it be worthwhile to explore this? Could it be worthwhile to find out how to access this state more often? So what exactly is this state (for lack of a better term)?