Slowly, in the light

The compensation of growing old, Peter Walsh thought, coming out of Regent's Park, and holding his hat in hand, was simply this: that the passions remain as strong as ever, but one had gained -- at last! -- the power which adds the supreme flavour to existence -- the power of taking hold of experience, of turning it round, slowly, in the light.

Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway

Originally, this blog was intended to chronicle a career change. I now think it served a much greater purpose.

In my early/mid twenties, I seemed to value what society valued: a hefty paycheck, an impressive job title, an enviable rolodex of "powerful people", a fancy car, a chic apartment, an athletic physique, etc. I valued this identity for the message it transmitted to the outside world: "Hey everyone, I have my shit together." That was nice. But then something happened. A quiet voice inside of me had been whispering, "yo dude, you don't truly value any of these things." And what began as a harmless whisper grew into an incessant blare, leaking a corrosive inauthenticity into my thoughts, decisions, and actions. Only my feelings, as harrowing as they had become, seemed to harbor the final remnants of truth. I was not happy.